Wednesday, August 25, 2010
My Greatest Fear
Just received a text from a fellow Stoke Survivor. She was in Swedish Hospital for a broken knee AND a hemorrhagic stroke - the same kind I suffered. I do not know the extent of her brain damage yet. Since the survival rate for this type of stroke is only 15% she is considered lucky. If her cognitive function is still good and she doesn't have aphasia - inability to speak intelligibly she in fact is lucky. She's lucky since the absence of those two afflictions means she can still participate in life. It is curious to me that when a person survives the tragedy of stroke most people automaticaly assume the victim is 'lucky'. After my stroke I wanted to die. I couldn't walk or use my left arm. My husband continued to remind me how lucky I was. That infuriated me! How could I be lucky with these disabilities? I did not understand that I could have lost my cognition, sight, ability to read or speak, all common afflictions of stroke. These abilities are central to being able to participate in community. Even if I can't ski or run or do any myriad of physical pursuits, I can teach children, talk with my husband, laugh at funny situations, etc. If we don't have those abilities we are truly alone. Greatest Fear!!